Random Thoughts Between Road Trips

I feel a little overwhelmed right now. I just returned from Renal Week 2009, the major US nephrology meeting.

• Work accomplished? Check-
• New ideas generated? Check-
• Good time had? Check-

Back at the homestead in Omaha, one might think I kicked back and relaxed; however, I find myself trapped between my dirty laundry and my empty suitcase. Yup, I head for Boston and the AAMC meeting this Friday.

Of course, distractions presented themselves as well. My new glasses arrived, and yesterday the braces came off a whole 2 months early.

Last night we saw the stage show, Irving Berlin’s White Christmas. I truly believe that all of the world’s ills would be fixed if life were more like a musical. Of course, bursting into song at critical moments will likely get you committed- and those around you rarely join in and dance with you! White Christmas, the movie, does not make a lot of sense (a general retiring on the eve of battle? Give me a freakin’ break!), yet every Thanksgiving it goes in the DVD player while we wash the good dishes. The music swings,you feel warm and fuzzy, and who can resist those dance numbers with Vera-Ellen and Bob Fosse?

The stage version eliminates some of the movie’s problematic elements. General Waverly ships stateside for a war wound, and the minstrel show number is eliminated (though it is more politically correct than the black-face number in Holiday Inn, the flick in which White Christmas, the song, originally debuted). More pieces from the Irving Berlin songbook show up. The result is an evening that not only generates that warm-fuzzy holiday feeling, but leaves you humming and toe-tapping.

This fall I began tap lessons for the first time in my life. I now recognize the steps on the stage, and I have an idea how difficult those production numbers can be. Given the sweating after my hour class in shorts, I cannot imagine how hot those poor cast members are in ski sweaters and lights.

I should probably work now, or at least plan my wardrobe for Boston. A Big Thanks to the touring company of White Christmas- you made my evening! I will keep you in mind while I shuffle-hop-step tonight.

Photocollage created with images from PhotoXpress.

Who Am I?

I don't mean this quesion in the literal sense. I blog & comment with my real name, and the links at right will take you to more information about me than you probably want. This is more of a rhetorical question about the many identities I have, including wife, mother, scientist, doctor, and editor.

I bring this up because there has been some discussion about attempts to "out" one of my favorite bloggers, Isis, over at ScienceBlogs. This woman has kept her real identity a secret and has some very good rules for pseudonymous bloggers. She is trying to keep her online life separate from that as a scientist and her wife/mother roles.

I came down on the other side of this issue, in part I believe, because of my "advanced age" when I started this blog. About the time I hit 40 I realized that no one could really do that much to hurt me in life. I shouldn't be evil because then I would deserve retribution, but I could generally state my mind in most professional situations with little fear of the consequences. It takes a lot of energy to maintain separate identities, and I didn't see much advantage for me to do that.

I had my first identity issue when I got married. The question was whether or not to change my last name. I had not yet published anything but an abstract in a local proceedings in an unrelated field. Part of me was violently opposed to the patriarchal supposition that I would take my husband's surname. However, I started talking with those who had already walked the path. First there was the "keep your maiden name group" who found this choice was really awkward when the kidlets came along. Did mom want to be the only one in the family with a different last name? The teachers were confused, and most women were "Mrs. Daddy's Name" when the school called, just to keep everyone from thinking they were divorced. Kids taking mom's name alone is pretty rare still, and I could not bring myself to dump a hyphenated name on my offspring. What about hyphenating my own name? One friend pointed out the difficulty that presents with forms and other documents. I had other friends who used their given name professionally and their married names personally. Talk about confusion! I have been introduced to women at parties where it took 20 minutes to figure out we shared patients! In medicine and academia, the personal and professional lives overlap substantially.

In the end, I took my husband's last name. Of course, I couldn't do anything easy. See, my birth name was Ann Pascale Hammond, but no one had ever called me Ann. Compared to a hyphenated last name, using your middle name is pure hell in this country. It is not your legally recognized name! I ended up dropping the "Ann" and becoming Pascale Hammond Lane. It was the right mix for me, even though I had to jump through a bunch of hoops for a common usage name change. I like that my family has the same last name, even though it wasn't the one I was born with.

I suspect my daughter will not change her name, but you never know. Just as I had to debate myself for a few months, Jen will have to make her own decisions. We all have to make our own decisions about who we want to be and how we will balance roles as professionals, partners, and parents.