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Monday, June 7, 2010

Finally: Homeopathy for the Kidney!

I am seriously considering a homeopathy web start-up.

See, a bunch of my friends have recently “passed” kidney stones. Really, “passed” is too gentle a term for what these small but mighty gravel bits inflict on their hosts.

Now, based on the composition of the stone and/or analysis of what a person excretes in their urine, we have a number of therapeutic options to prevent stone recurrence. But the mainstay of all therapy remains water. Lots and lots of water. The more water is in the urine, the less likely other molecules are to come together and rock on.

So, you take a stone (or, if you can’t get it when it passes, substitute a garden rock) and put it in your drinking water. The teensiest bit of it will then be in the water. Drink 3 or more quarts of this liquid each day, and your stone formation will decrease dramatically.

When I searched kidney stones and homeopathy earlier today, Google found more than 3 million sites. Most of these would love to separate you from your hard-earned cash. I have just given you an excellent, nephrologist-certified homeopathic kidney stone preventative FOR FREE.

If this tonic fails to prevent stones, please see your doctor. You may have a more serious disorder requiring different treatments. Don’t worry- they will continue to encourage this “natural” remedy (albeit without the stone or rock).

Image from Wikipedia Commons.

3 comments:

  1. Wait a minute ... I can't tell if this is parody or satire. Which is it?

    Personally I'm going to open a store selling shoes that prevent kidney stones, because for as long as I've worn shoes, I've never had kidney stones! It's a fact!

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  2. Either way I'm effing with homeopaths...does it matter what we call it?

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  3. I call it fun! I watch #Homeopathy on twitter quite often, replying to the quack tweets. I've seen recently a few more skeptics doing this for this and other topics. It seems to really annoy some of the quacks, and even if they block us, they cant stop us from responding to it.

    I'd like to see more skeptics take part. Even a few people can dilute the homeopaths a lot! ... hmmm wait, maybe that would make them stronger! gah!

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