Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Like Questions at a Beauty Pagent

When applying for residency, the one portion of the application form with any potential for individual expression was the infamous personal statement. Having reviewed about a million of these now, I appreciate how mundane they can be. It is sort of like asking Miss USA contestants their opinions on world peace.

Now, for the first time in 26 years, I find myself constructing a personal statement.

As part of the recent changes at NIH, this component has been added to the humble biosketch. We now have to “briefly” explain why we are the best-est, most-qualified, ideal person to play our role on the project proposed.

The simple truth, that I am the person interested enough to propose this work, just won’t cut it.

How about “the voices in my head keep telling me to do this.” No?

Photoxpress_4896891 “I am a gift from the gods about to impart new critical knowledge to your world.” Perhaps a bit over-the-top (although members of my family might find this one completely in character).

I finally played it straight. I listed my experience with the relevant techniques that have not yet been applied to a novel exciting model, and my clinical background that fits the question at hand. So predictable!

It should be bloody obvious from the proposal that I am the ideal person to pursue this question in this manner at this time. If it is not, then I have not written it right.

By the way, I am fully in favor of world peace. May I have a tiara now?

Photo courtesy of PhotoXpress.


  1. I'd have gone with the gift from the gods stuff. Can't hurt, right?

  2. You can sign it Dr. Congeniality...

  3. Or perhaps this part of the form should be more scripted:
    What is your sign? Pisces
    Turn-ons? Long walks on the beach, kittens
    Turn-offs? Mean people, bad hypotheses
    If you were a tree, what kind would you be? A Christmas tree, because they are blingy

  4. "Turn-offs? ...bad hypotheses"

    ROFL (but so true)