To Whoever Just Paged Me

Dear You Know Who You Are:

Right now, you are cursing me for not answering your summons immediately. Your emotions will rise over the next few minutes as I continue not to call, then you will calmly document my failure in a chart and on evaluations of my performance.

It is you who deserve the FAIL.

You paged me to 4 digits. At some institutions this is sufficient information for a page, but not in my professional life.

The Nebraska Medical Center includes prefixes 552- and 559-. Either of these is possible.

Children’s Hospital and Medical Center of Omaha uses 955- numbers.

I also get paged to other hospitals in town and dialysis units. And right now, I am not the doctor on call.

Short of trying every permutation with these 4 digits (which are not familiar to me), I cannot know where you want me. And I do not feel obliged to try.

Is your life really so onerous that you cannot punch an extra 3 digits into the phone when you page me? Really? REALLY? I guarantee it will take less time than waiting for my answer to your insufficient request.

Sincerely,

Pascale H. Lane, MD

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